Metamorphosis

Its a beautiful thing, this metamorphosis of life for an addict. A person can be, at one stage in their life, a strung out street urchin, and one year later be a completely new person. In their own eyes, and in society’s. In my experiences in recovery, I have met some truly amazing people. And heard some remarkable stories of triumph. To see the light in the people’s eyes, to recognize the same feelings of hope, is a very special feeling. At one time a person is a homeless strung out shell of a human, and one year later they’re a fully employed, loving parent and a cherished asset to the recovery community. The stories of overcoming and struggle cast their determination in an unbreakable zeal, that is our greatest promise:hope.
A person in active addiction doesn’t have to stay stuck in the constant merry-go-round of jails, dereliction, and insanity. There is a much better way of life available. Unfortunately, in my personal experience, it is a very painful road to travel in order to finally taste the desperation needed to come to the realization that one cannot go on living in such a disastrous manner. In the end, the drugs always win. For me.
But once the desperation is strong enough, and the bitterest of ends are in our faces, and we know, that we cannot handle life anymore, with drugs, or without. When the wreckage we caused, and the pain that were feeling, as a result from our own actions is weighing so heavily on every piece of our being, something remarkable happens. We break. Thank God. And once that break occurs, surrender, and acceptance take hold.
And with those two, humility, and then willingness. The way that we think and feel about the world and it’s people start to change, and this is where the real beauty of recovery starts to take shape. willingness gives way to hope, and grown up hope is faith. Love returns to our life, self love, and love for others. And we begin to feel lovable, and worth fighting for. The fog lifts, and as we put some work in, and surround ourselves with people who wholly want what is best for us, we see that we’ve been worth loving the entire time. That we’ve really fit in after all.
The recovery programs available in the world today are truly incredible. A.A, N.A, C.A., and many others throughout the world offer a unity of alcoholics and addicts to any person struggling, with a desire to stop using, and find a new a way of life. I once attended a convention for a specific recovery program, and it was amazing to see thousands of people come together to celebrate being alive. To give a hug to a stranger and tell them that they’re genuinely happy that they made it through their struggles. And that they never have to use, or be alone again. I would not be here typing this blog entry today if it weren’t for a few specific people who had recovered before me. My predecessors. And that’s how it works in essence, we get helped, and then we give it. An overwhelming sense of the deepest gratitude sets in, for what we have been through and just how blessed we are to be where we are today.
So, if you, or someone you know is struggling with the horrors of addiction, remember this, the stories I’ve been telling you are true. I was at one point, the scum of the universe, the worst of the worst. A homeless, heroin addict derelict. And if this thing called recovery can save me, then it can save anyone. You just have to want it. THERE IS A BETTER WAY. THERE IS HOPE!